[ Writing Sketches ]

Snippets

heaven

In death I was alive. An essence enveloped by a light of love. I felt as a babe in the caring, protective bosom of its mother. It was love eternal. A divine warmth carried me, in gentle, invisible arms, into a fantastic scene: before my eyes the roaring rage of the sun, fixed in the blackness of space, appeared in waves of orange-red flames. Above me a choir of sweet angelic voices seductively called for me to retire to my celestial home. In a distance, an assemblage of familiar faces with fine white garments were stationed at the end of curved path. They summoned me with outstretched arms toward a broad, towering threshold; its massive gates opened. On either end, two majestic pillars of exquisite gold, reached high into the eternal obscurity of the universe.

dancers

Adorned in pristine bell skirts and white floral headbands, the ballerinas assembled behind a massive…

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Mad Dash

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Mad Dash

My pace was brisk and steady and my eyes darted uncontrollably in all directions. My right arm ticked as if held down and given electric shocks. (I heard of a neighboring fellow who actually bled to death when an old, brittle mouth guard was positioned incorrectly in his mouth.)

After being stretched out on a gurney, anchored down by boorish hands, my mind would let go of the brutality in free flowing imagery. Gently I surrendered- transfixed by the divinity of a white, domed light above me; expelling the impact of the jolts that scorched my flesh. I drowned into its brilliance- the soft caresses that refreshed my eyes; the sense of flexed fingers combing my hair as by a lover in my arms.

But I knew, even in the highs of illusion, that I was dead: my carcass left bony and my brain butchered. That was the hysteria I had escaped that summer morning, if only momentarily.

In the desolation of my cell, mute, with the orderlies devouring their rations, I managed to loosen some of the belts that held my body in bondage, until I was able to stand. The ankle chains were easily removed and so were the ventilation vents.

Scaling the outside gate was an endevour- to climb it at my delicate age was a difficult task. Once I was over the razor sharp wire I pressed on with bleeding knees and elbows, into the brush that separated me from the claws of a grim asylum and into, so I imagined, the normalcy of a busy city where anyone could lose themselves in a sea of unfamiliar faces.

As I left the spacious void of the plain I entered the darkness of a dry forest. I barely could take another step due to a sudden spell of fear and disorientation that overtook me. I attempted to lean onto one of the heaven-high trees but collapsed instead. Everything was spinning. Sweat began to drop from my forehead. At that instance my thoughts became cluttered, unhinged from the phantoms. I knew that soon the voices would take over with their whispering suggestions and soothing pleads; from the same invisible demons and majestic angels that snared me all my years.

I slowly stood to face the tall soldiers of bark. Slender leftlets and ruffled leaves lay unperturbed beneath my dirty, bare feet. I moved ever so slowly forward-my body, a stone weight; my brain, a storm of chaos. In this vista I saw a path of pebbles that snaked across the darkness of the brush in distorted double vision, askewed and unbalanced. I followed the way with a wry grin smeared across my face like a smudge.

(incomplete idea/snippet)

 

 

 

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Bugs!

bugs
Yes I wrote down yet another creative snippet. This time the snippet was for the online prompt from Writer’s Digest magazine.

PROMPT: You wake up one morning and find yourself inside a Looney Tunes cartoon with a burning desire to hunt down a certain Bugs Bunny, no matter the cost. What happens next?
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Bugs!

My eyes bulged, my skin crawled, my tongue drooled and my feet shook. My reality had dematerialized- transported into a cartoon madness where the knee high crowd cheered at the antics of a furry, long-eared rodent that had dropped a heavy ACME block on the head of a pudgy doofus with a shotgun in hand. Or was it instead a facade of a hellish Serling episode where everything goes astray in the end?

My head was a hurricane. It was in an unreal world! An Oz where Alice fell down the rabbit hole only to reappear holding a half eaten carrot between its fingers like Groucho Marks. Bugs? That sly wabbit with a trickster’s smirk and a cagey twinkle in its eye. No matter how fast it would run, I had to snatch it because my gut was now screaming for meat, rabbit chow.

But that stinky vermin read my head and knew, somehow, that I was aiming to catch it and eat it barbecue style. I reached left and it flashed right. I took a step forward and it swirl behind and flicked my ear. I hid behind a tree only to watch it walked up to me (bolt) and give me two slaps per cheek before it dived into his hole on the ground.

I even shoved a handful of TNT sticks down its escape hatch, sparked each one, turned around and covered my ears. Bang! To my painful surprise, the smarty pants had dropped the explosive down the back of my floppy pants and left me a smoldered heap of coals. I turned tomato red and steam blew out both my nostrils and ear vents. I tried everything but nothing worked. In the end I chased Bugs up and down the grassy slops. That darn wabbit, I yelped. (Fudd)

[end]

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These are some reviews from pro writers:

Good job, Carlos! This was an excellent story, and you described your character’s thoughts and emotions really well. Keep up the good work!
– Katia Snow

I enjoyed this piece of work. I think you did a good job mixing in details/imagery with action.
-Aura Lord

This is very clever, Carlos. It reads with the flow of a Tex Avery cartoon, not giving the reader (me) a chance to stop and think. I like it!
-Jim Smith

This reads like a very tight, almost minimalist interpretation of a Bugs cartoon. Well done.
-John Reap

A concise descriptive story that sailed along at high speed. Wow, enjoyed this.
– anonymous

I love this!
-Scott Wein

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